Boredom Blues

It's Monday morning. I have nothing to do. I have no classes because of the SONA thing. Roads goingto Commonwealth Ave. would be closed including the road leading to UP. Here I am in front of the PC surfing the web and of course updating my blog.

I'm so damn bored this day. I have nothing to do, though I have to read Durkheim's thick book for my report. But still... I'm so bored.

I'm starting to talk nonsense here. But what I can do. I just have to do away with this boredom blues in a this supposed to be manic Monday. I can't seem to relax even if I have nothing to do. I don't know why. I should have relax to fight the haggardness (if there is really such a word) after a week of so many books to read and stuff to do.

Oh... I thing I'm babbling nonsense here.

Pressures and Expectations

Back in high school, I think people always see me as a plain Jane. I am a goody-goody. A geek. They expect me to be good in everything. I felt that I was pressured to excel in my studies and just forget about having fun and having a weekend gimmick. My usualroutine would be house-school, school-house. No more,no less.

I live a very protected life. My parents are strictthat before I am not allowed to go out on the weekend with my friends.That wasuntil I turned 18. But still there are things that I am not allowed to do. Like dating.

I feel that I am living a not so exciting life. It is because there are lots of expectations that people want meto be. My family and my relatives expect me to do well in school especially during these times wherein we are in the midst of a financial problem. I feel that they are expecting me to be able to help them after I finish my studies.

That is why I am so afraid of failure. I will feel guilty if I am not able tomeet their expectations for me. That is why I always put pressure on myself that I should do well andtonever ever fail.

Sometimes I wish that I should be like my friends who are able to enjoy their teen lives at its fullest. I wish I could be in their shoes even for once. I wish I would be able to have fun once in a while.

Whatever

I have an exam tomorrow. Hassle nga kc imbis na I'll be relaxing for the weekend, nasa school ako. At mapapalibutan ako ng kung anu-anong data dahil sa freakin' papers at exam on tuesday. Wala talaga pahingi. Haggard na ako.

So here I am. Unwinding through the web. How pathetic nga e.

Bored ako sa dorm. Wala kc ako isang kasama na kakwentuhan. Kaya labas muna ako.

Bad trip hindi ako nakanood ng concert last night. Astig pa naman ung mga performers. Wala na kasi akong enough money. I'm saving up to buy something.

After ng exam ko bukas, mamamasyal ako. Since I'll be going to my cousin's place in antipolo, stop over muna ako sa Sta. Lucia. I'll be looking for stuff that I'll be buying kapag may enough money na ako.

I'm hungry. Kakain muna ako.

Ang weird ko ngayon. Kung anu-ano na ang pinagsasabi ko dito. I'm pathetic.

Now, enough of this nonsense. I'll be signing off. Ciao!