Reconnecting

For the past months, I hardly even see my friends especially my bestfriends. I have no idea what are they doing or what is happening in their lives. I even hardly have the chance to communicate with them. In other words, I seem to be temporarily out of their worlds.

I don't even feel like I want to communicate with them or even to see them. I guess it is because they don't seem to miss me because I hardly get even a simple how-are-you text from them. Or maybe I'm just seem to be full of myself or I have this larger than life ego and pride.

But I think everything will change. Everything will be fixed especially this thousand mile communication gap that I have with my very best friends. Thanks to the technology (unlimited texts!!!!), I was able to reconnect with my buds in no time.

I hope that the gap will be able to be closed now that there is some kind of a reconnection with my girlfriends. It may take time but if our communication will continue and we will soon see each other once more, the tension and the awkward moments between us will be gone. This is not a wishful thinking, I may say. Because I know someday we will all be happy together just like before.

Old Friends and New Friends(?)

I always see myself in somebody's company. But everything change during college.

Back in high school, people hardly see me without my girlfriends. All day, we were always together. Copying with each other's homework, girly gab fest, eating like we didn't eat the other night and other sort of stuff we usually do together. I did not see that I will be a loner come college years.

I don't really have the typical barkada that I used to have. My daily routine usually work like this:
* I wake up.
* I will take a bath.
* I get dressed.
* I go to class.
* After class, it is either I'll go to the library (which I hardly do) or go back in the dorm and lounge.
* Eat dinner.
* Do my schoolwork while eating. (again!!!)
* I'll sleep.
This goes on in a cycle almost everyday except if there would be some unexpected stuff that I need to do. In other words, I DON'T HAVE A SOCIAL LIFE!!!!!

I am even more confused if I could treat my new "friends" my friends. They were mostly my classmates and orgmates that I often interact with. I'm too shy to ask them if they are my friends or not. It may be so melodramatic but it is quite important to me if they really treat me as their friend or not. I can't help it but I am kind of sentimental about it. It is really important for me if I am one's friend or not. For me, it shows how people give importance to you.

Being away from the friends that I grew up with is kind of hard. Several years of friendship binded us and because of this it is quite hard for me that the friendship that we once had is slowly disintegrating. That is why it is important to me to find and meet new friends who will treat me like the way my old friends have treated me.

I often thought about this things because I am afraid that I will be alone and friendless for the rest of my life. I need friends as much as I need my family and a love life (which until now in nonexistent). Well, I may seem like a hopeless dramatic gal, but this is for real and this what I really feel.

Nothing to Do

My report was a success. It feels great that it is over. I would never forget the date August 8 for my month long haggardness (if there is such a word)is finally over. A friend of mine even treated me with some of my chummies at Gayuma after class because it was her birthday. It was an ultimate girl-bonding and i really have so much fun. The food was great and we really have some fun time just chilling, laughing and sharing stories abot our lives.

But as usual, I did not have so much to share. My life is not that exciting. I have no love life, although i really want to fall in love. I have no social life,although i secretly that i can be a party hearty gal but it is not really me. In short, i have nothing to do and i sometimes think that my life is so boring and that really sucks!

I have nothing to do with my life as of this moment. I don't want my life to be so usual like studying, going home, do some errands. It is not what I really want. I want to have some spice in my life. I want to do some things that are relatively new to me. I want to have fun. I really, really want to.

Stressed Out

The past week has been a hell lot stressful. I have two thick books to read, a paper to make and other responsibilities that I have to make. I feel like its been a long time ever since I have relaxed and think of nothing else. Well, it is a good thing that my report for my theory class was moved next Monday. What a relief!

But still, I feel deprived of my beauty sleep. I'm beginning to see dark circles around my eyes and my eyebags do not seem to de-puff. I tried remedies but to no avail. I think I'll better go to a beauty counter and purchase the best concealer to conceal my haggard-looking face.

I am really looking forward to having a much needed break from all of this stuff. All I want is to relax and read a novel and noty think of anything else.