Old Friends and New Friends(?)

I always see myself in somebody's company. But everything change during college.

Back in high school, people hardly see me without my girlfriends. All day, we were always together. Copying with each other's homework, girly gab fest, eating like we didn't eat the other night and other sort of stuff we usually do together. I did not see that I will be a loner come college years.

I don't really have the typical barkada that I used to have. My daily routine usually work like this:
* I wake up.
* I will take a bath.
* I get dressed.
* I go to class.
* After class, it is either I'll go to the library (which I hardly do) or go back in the dorm and lounge.
* Eat dinner.
* Do my schoolwork while eating. (again!!!)
* I'll sleep.
This goes on in a cycle almost everyday except if there would be some unexpected stuff that I need to do. In other words, I DON'T HAVE A SOCIAL LIFE!!!!!

I am even more confused if I could treat my new "friends" my friends. They were mostly my classmates and orgmates that I often interact with. I'm too shy to ask them if they are my friends or not. It may be so melodramatic but it is quite important to me if they really treat me as their friend or not. I can't help it but I am kind of sentimental about it. It is really important for me if I am one's friend or not. For me, it shows how people give importance to you.

Being away from the friends that I grew up with is kind of hard. Several years of friendship binded us and because of this it is quite hard for me that the friendship that we once had is slowly disintegrating. That is why it is important to me to find and meet new friends who will treat me like the way my old friends have treated me.

I often thought about this things because I am afraid that I will be alone and friendless for the rest of my life. I need friends as much as I need my family and a love life (which until now in nonexistent). Well, I may seem like a hopeless dramatic gal, but this is for real and this what I really feel.